different? cursed? special? outcast?

the numbers are decreasing.
hardly ever rises.
involuntary comparison brings about moments of reflections.
I wonder, what am I actually?
different?
curse?
special?
outcast?
each step I take to the void,
has no certainty or ground.
the rain falls everywhere,
tears I hear, yet unable to see
trapped in a mortal shackle,
some bound, but still happy.
not me.