winning isn't everything

so what if you've won at something. there are other things you've lost. life is about sacrifices. in order to get something, we lose something. that something you get now might seem important now, but will it be important in the future? will that thing you gave up be just as of lesser significant as it is now in the future?

I've lost so much, and I'll only lose more. pessimistic? not so. it's a fact. looking back, the stuff I've gained or won bears little meaning now. even then, some thing I've given to achieve, I've failed. well we don''t always win, but it still feels bad, and we have to learn from our mistakes, and try again, if we have that chance again. sadly I don't have that chance anymore. what's gone is gone, and is getting further away from me as I watch it go.

just two more nights and I won't be in here. I'll be overseas, and when I get back, school would already have started. I would really enjoy some cool down period after the holiday, but sadly enough, I don't have the luxury to enjoy it. then again I have to ensure I get my courses in SMU while I'm overseas. hopefully there will be internet where I'm at since I'll be bringing my laptop along for communicative purposes.

it's been raining the past few nights, it's feeling different. it felt different last night. it felt distant. I feel like I'm floating away from reality. I'm losing the human touch. not exactly misanthropy, but well, I can't seem to connect well with other people. it's enjoyable, yet miserable at the same time. being happy all the time is like living a lie. being sad all the time is just wasting life away. I'm neither, but I'm not exactly well balanced between the two.