a lingering feeling words cannot describe.

tomorrow is officially my last working day in camp. it is the long awaited day. but somehow I feel I'm leaving a big part of my life behind. it had been just two years, but in this two years, so many things had happened. I've grown up. I've known many people. I've changed. I've become colder in certain ways, and warmer in others. after seeing the same people everyday from 8 - 6, monday to friday, sometimes even weekends, it's like letting go a lifestyle. yes you could call it a lifestyle. not by choice, but still it was a lifestyle.

I would suddenly be tossed back into the brain race. a frenzy of studying for three years. how can I adapt to it? I have to I know, but my mind just isn't ready for it. its like leaping from a relatively relaxed way of life in camp to a mind boggling race to be the best. or maybe just to pass. I anticipate, but yet, I'm reluctant. the renascent emotions and memories of studying are still locked away. what's fresh in my mind is only the view of familiar faces, the sounds of familiar voices, the smell of oil, the touch of cold steel, and the taste of the much disliked cookhouse food. heck I will even miss the cookhouse serving lady and cook

I like the place. I like my camp. I just dislike the work.