every once in awhile

I see things. I see things that make me feel distant from the world I am in, or at least I am supposed to be in. I feel dead, yet efficiently programmed to avoid such occurences where I would partake in. I don't deny it makes me think whether I had made the right decision regarding these aspects of my life. and I don't deny I dislike thinking about such things. I'm learning stuff each day under my shell. I want to escape life's dichotomy, even if I have to painfully give up things dear. I wonder, what the future will yield for me and my foolish plans.