once again everything has to end

4 long days have passed. Many things happened. And now I'm left with an injured(possibly broken?) third finger tip from yesterday's Cage. Yes it hurts like hell. Sunday, today, I spent totally doing nothing productive, but hey, who's complaining?

Tomorrow is work again, and I have a lot of things to rant about every time it hit Sunday nights. I must stress once again I'm not a very biddable person, so when it comes to things I'm forced to do I downright hate it. Hardcore. Things like booking into camp every Monday morning. The thought of it totally discomfits me. It turns me off. And I start to spiral down this U-shaped tube of misery.

I'm miserable because I have to sleep early, wake up early, do some stupid repairing/maintenance stuff on vehicles, all this unwillingly. Yes I can accept it, and I can enjoy it, but bottom line is I'm unwilling. and that breeds misery. Someone once said, 'Misery is never destroyed, only transferred'. It seems my misery is stuck with me without any transferring taking place.

And yes I've been spending in copious amounts of money on many stuff that brings intangible returns. The returns are terrific, but it's too high a cost to substantiate. I guess I have to cut down then. My 'allowance'(actually its my salary) is only $350. So much for care there. For a living breathing person in today's world, where the GST is increasing, milk prices are increasing, blood pressures are increasing, where does $350 stand? Shorter than a 15cm ruler.

Complains complains complains it's already 12:17am and I still can't bring myself to sleep. The moment I enter dreamland is the END of freedom for the week. I fear sleep on Sundays. I have got to go somehow..