and the week begins again

last week I was kinda cut out of the picture. tomorrow the cycle begins again. it's only just begun, the journey. and already I'm looking out. another friend has left for the states. never know when I'll see him again. so fast its already coming to september, so fast nine months had passed. so soon alex will commission. the thrill of it. he had worked hard to deserve it. an opportune moment to celebrate. been waiting for the barbeque to happen but it seems no one just has the time to organize it. probably wait till alex and rainer commission then decide. something ends, something else begins. my friend comes home from new zealand today, maybe tomorrow. I wish right now I was somewhere else besides here. forever trapped in an illusion seems kind of good. where your fantasies can be played out, where you have no worries. every day lingers for me. I cannot relish the life that others seem to do. the effort that is done injustice.