sometimes

last night was a terrible one. I hardly slept. I kept waking up, for what reasons I do not know. I remember dreaming, but I can't remember what I dreamt about. I woke up more than 6 times. one of them where I was so thirsty I went to the kitchen straight and gulped down a large amount of fruit juice. I felt terrible. only in the morning when the sun was rising did I manage to catch a few winks of sleep. just barely. it is so far the worst of all my disrupted sleep patterns. I feel so tired today, I slept in the afternoon from 1750 - 1930. and now I'm tired again. I'm troubled, but I'll try to remember the advice that got me going. tomorrow I shall be studying for my 2 quizzes that take place, rather unfortunately, on the same day one after another. I still have other things to look at, but they'll take a backseat for now.

today(actually yesterday) is valentine's day, a day where couples go out and celebrate. maybe its more of an opportunity for guys seeking to ask the girl they like or have always liked out. where the guy would prepare elaborate plans and shower the girl with affection, in an attempt to win her heart. how long has it been since I've tried to win a girl's heart? I can barely remember. will I ever be able to again? I don't know. but today is a day for all the lucky guys and girls who have gotten together, and not for me to relish my own.

this being a rather long post culminates the past week. many bad and unwanted things happened that put me in quite a spot sometimes, and made me frustrated. I know sometimes I tend to keep things to myself, this being my stubborn mentality that telling it to others will not help solve the issue on hand. it will only make me feel better, but the problem will persist. in fact, telling it to others will help make me feel better and also probably generate solutions to solve the problem.

I hope good things will come. after all, the recess week is only a week away. sure, I'll have lots of stuff to do during that time - projects, assignments, etc. but what I really would like to do is to spend more time with the people I care about. The past weeks or so I've been really caught up with school work, I feel I haven't really had the time to communicate with them.

sometimes, I just need some company to accompany me to places where we can sit and just enjoy and take in the serenity and peace. sometimes, I just want someone to accompany me to just do nothing but relax. but that company is hard to find. I make it harder by not telling anyone. it might even seem demanding on my part since I have nothing to offer. distances are drawing further, yet people seem warmer occasionally. I feel comfortable, yet I'm bothered by the differences.