a sunday

it's night time already, and I've done some studying. not yet touched upon economics though. I feel I'm underestimating it just because it's going to be in multiple choice format, while OB is essay style. so far I've done 2 chapters of OB(+ a little bit of the introduction chapter). I plan to do another chapter later, hopefully it will be short with not too many pages. I'm pondering over whether I should go out and relax with yz for awhile, assuming he wants to do so, or stay home. on a normal day, he would be preparing to book in by 11, but he had taken tomorrow off.

I'm still distracted, as distracted as when I started. but at least now I'm putting in much more effort to stay on track. there are a few things I'm looking forward to, apart from the recess week. I'm probably using it as some sort of positive reinforcement.

so many people have changed. reminds me of the song "everybody's changing" from keane. but of course it's part and parcel of nature. I wonder, have I changed? almost definitely, since july 2007, I'm sure I did consciously make a big change in thoughts(think paradigm shift). and then I altered them once again in january 2008. to others it might be a change of behavior, but to me it seemed like I was taking a route that I felt was better. I learned, that's why I changed for the better. maybe that's what change is about - taking the better option/route. but there's always a part of a person that will never change.

but of course, the better route may not be the better route after all. the better route is laced with our own perceptions, and from those perceptions, judgements and opinions. how good is good? it doesn't matter to ourselves. instead, it matters(and we feel it matters) most to the person that matters most to us. that's what matters. hopefully my changes were of a good nature, in the eyes of the one that matters most.