I ate, i worry

I ate alot today. no normal person would go down below his house and buy obscenely large amounts of food and snacks just for 1 meal. but that's just me. I live to eat, although I'm afraid of getting fat. anyway I realized I really like coconut juice, those from cans. it has just the right sweetness and smoothness, and its supposedly good for health. yup so I'm intending to stockup on some so I can drink it when I'm in hermit mode at home studying. the same goes for snacks.

case in point, I really need to dedicate time to study. I'm beginning to feel a little worried about the exams. however, that worry has not done much to motivate me to study any much more harder than I already am. do note that although I'm trying to do my best in studying, I can feel that I'm still a far cry from when I was at my best and most diligent. I need to find some sort of cure to this bo chup attitude towards studying. I mean, I want to do well, exceptionally well in fact, if its possible. but still that internal goal doesn't motivate to give 200%. I wonder what can give me that boost. that much needed boost.

as much as what's going on, I still find a certain sense of calm in me. maybe I'm too calm for my own good.

the stars are shining like rebel diamonds cut out of the sun.