a public holiday is tomorrow

what a good break. a good rest that I should enjoy as trouble brews for the next few weeks. stayed in camp till quite late trying to settle some vehicle. then had dinner at macs with my colleagues before heading home. kinda tired right now, especially my eyes. as I await fervently for tomorrow and friday to come. but not saturday.

cold water

I just came out of the shower. haven't had a cold water shower at home for a long long time. you see, I usually avoid being immersed or drenched in cold water like the plague. maybe even more. but the weather is totally sweltering hot, I had no choice. it was so soothing. but the feeling was ephemeral, in all its comfort. barely 30s after I stepped out the of the shower, I could feel my sweat glands beginning to get active once again. makes me wonder, do they ever tire out? why not? probably because I'd be dead if they ceased to function.

at work today I had a quite a handful of tasks to complete. I did most of what I was supposed to do, less a few that really couldn't be done due to missing spares. OT has begun. the warning given prior to today, I really didn't expect it to take effect so quickly. NTU has given me a reply, and also a copy of a letter I can print out to be shown to the OC to verify that I can have a place there. so now it's all up to SAF's side. today my WOIC also questioned me how come I had broke the chain of command and hadn't told him that I was disrupting. in my mind I was thinking 'GIVE ME TIME. I only informed the OC directly due to the lack of time I believed in my part. I was going to inform you and my MTT(who hasn't been around for a long time) as well.' but anyway I just kept quiet and tried my best to look sorry and repenty to save time and trouble. anyway he found out only when the OC asked him about it. so now I'm worried if my OC will be a petty one and not apply for the disruption for me due to this small and mediocre event that took place. I hope he isn't the sort.

everyday from today onwards will have OT. up till at least the 20th may. super long time man. almost 3 weeks of nonstop OT. I hope at least, the heat goes down.

the beginning of the drag

today went by rather well, of course with a few hiccups along the way. the morning run was alright. I brisk walked 3 rounds(on advice from jiayu) and ran 1 round(because my WOIC forced me to). after that due to some unknown reason, my legs hurt terribly. it felt like rheumatism or something, maybe arthritis. who knows. yea it still hurts now, but the intensity is much lesser. then it was back to work. we were prepped to stay back for overtime due to the excruciating overflow of vehicles, already excluding those coming in may. live for the moment anyway. after this I'll be mailing NTU regarding my disruption from army and whether I can get a place for their AY 08/09 intake. I spoke to the OC about it, and he seemed pretty optimistic about it, despite the fact that when I first told him I wanted to disrupt, he thought it was for a diploma. oh come on. thanks to him I think I must look kinda dumb, or maybe it's the general rationalization of a certain obvious aspect.
besides all this today, I went for some beancurd at geylang. yeah baby. it was delicious. tried their carrot cake, and it didn't taste half bad. I feel like briskwalking again, but I'm getting all lazy and cozy at home I doubt I will do it. off to email NTU now.

the night that never happened

due to some unforeseen circumstances, yesterday night never happened. I guess one might call it disaster. but well, I'm used to such things, I can't even be bothered to avert them. I'm used to watching and playing out people's failing plans, to my amusement of them not heeding others' advice. but back to topic - yesterday night was really beyond any of our control, and surprisingly, it wasn't all that surprising. I would have half expected something like that to come out from an Officer Cadet School. missed the chance to watch Harold & Kumar 2. but its ok, probably watch it sometime during the week or on thursday or friday when Alex books out.

the bad news for tonight is that tomorrow I'm actually going to be back at work, doing the same mundane stuff. day in day out, accompanied only by boredom and monotony. at least the next week is going to be a little short with thursday being labour day. however. my superiors had a grand one installed for me. I have a duty on the 3rd of may, which would fall on a saturday. after all the outfield I've went through.. a saturday duty to hit the spot. and it hit real good. but somehow I'm not so affected by it right now. probably when it draws nearer I'll be feeling the pinch and overwhelming reluctance.

recently my weekends have been plagued with a broad sense of time wasting and nonsensical nothingness. I've reached the stage where I spend time waiting. and waiting. for something to happen. I seem to have lost the ability(or gained the laziness) to pick myself up to do stuff. whatever it is, it doesn't feel good, and it has got to change. I'm still looking for a driving instructor..

haha. back from ICT.

and so, I'm back. the ICT was like hell(as expected). though I really didn't do much there. yesterday I struck a note by being AWOL. hopefully nobody noticed. right now I'm contemplating disrupting NS to go into university earlier. saving me the 10 months or so of free time(that would most probably be wasted).

freedom is sweet, but we have to wait,
can't wait for the day, when I walk out that gate.
a wonderful day, that day shall be.
when I once again, become a complete entity.

I was offered a role in Royston Tan's new film as some extra. some background musician of some sort. but I already had an appointment with another friend at 8, so no time for the filming which was going to be from 1830 - 0300. tonight I'll probably be catching a movie and chilling out with my friend. it has been an exceptionally long and tiring week for us. it's only right we deserve this.

the days get longer as the figure draw nearer

each day is becoming like a year. as time closes in on the eventual date, I feel a stronger urge to relish the days awaiting me after that big 5. ICT so far is doing ok. tomorrow will be yet another long day. please, weekends come quickly. the phrase really flows. "Weekend, I'm at my wit's end. Weekeeeeend.

the cycle begins again

slip out the back before they know you were there,
at the worse you'll see nobody cares.
cause you don't want to be around when it all goes down,
even heroes know when to be scared.

the FDEx is over, but ICT is coming. all in all it was quite a good time. I think we learnt a lot from it. but of course no one will look forward to something like that. which is why I'm not looking forward to the ICT next week. damn there's really no break.

what am I feeling?

I don't know what I'm feeling. it's a mix of emotions. very difficult to explain. tomorrow I will be going outfield for my SPT FDEx. I wonder what it will be like. what I do know is that I got to wake up abnormally early to reach camp. carrying so much stuff. although I roughly have an idea what we are going to do outfield, but I'm still suffering the Sunday night book-in syndrome - the one where a person gets really down and de-motivated and discouraged. in some ways I'm excited. in some ways I dread it. what am I supposed to feel? I wish I can find an answer. I wish it will all end soon. 4+ months more before I'm released from my leash. I know life won't be that smooth sailing once I'm free, but having freedom is always better than none. I'm tired, yet I don't want to sleep early since I won't have free time for the next few days. I hate this feeling. I want to be able to sleep without the need to know that I don't have time the next few days for personal stuff. I want to sleep peacefully, happily, whenever I want to without having to think so much. when will that day come?

girls girls.

how can a girl be girl? what are girly girls?