tired, so tired.

it's late. I want to sleep but I haven't packed my bags yet. it's only going to be for 3 short days. but due to the event, I need to choose my clothes. I don't have any clothes fitting for a wedding. not anymore. I wonder what I'll wear. got to start packing already. my lobster is with my uncle. hopefully my uncle takes good care of her. can't wait to take it back when I get back. sigh. I don't really feel like leaving, even just for a few days. at least not now. I hope I can remember to bring my passport to the airport tomorrow. forgetting it will be just so terrible.

swine flu

it seems to be getting worse and worse each day. not a good sign. I'm seriously worried for some people I know who are already overseas, or are going overseas sometime soon. I hope this flu will go away soon.

tomorrow morning I will be going to KL for my cousin's wedding. the wedding is actually on friday, but I think we might be helping out in some preparations, so we go earlier. I'll be back on saturday evening. I want to watch the new x-men movie when I come back. hopefully I can find some nice stuff to buy back from KL, should I come across any.

but like I said, my main concern now is for the swine flu and my friends.

but who cares?

I'm not feeling really good now, or lately. but who cares? we're all always alone in this world despite the rosy falsities of life. sounds depressing ain't it. well, guess what? it's true.

time

I seem to have lots of it now. but not the money to accompany the spending of the time. short, short. this news is one day late, but yesterday, my exams ended with a bang with the statistics paper. it was easier than I had expected, particularly the Linear Programming part. well, that's only one part of the story. in the end our grades will be averaged over a bell curve, so the absolute score doesn't really matter as much as the relative performance to our peers. if I found it not so tough, I'm sure many others will find it easy. so yeah. but anyways I'm not too worried about that now. my grades are gonna be pretty average I feel. most definitely worse than last semester's. I'm guessing all Bs. I hope I'm wrong though, and that I will surprise myself in a positive way.

anyway, tomorrow I'll be going to collect my passport for the 2nd time. the first time I went down to ICA to collect it, I queud for 35 mins, only to realise that I needed to give them my expired passport to exchange for the new one. problem was I didn't have my expired one with me, because I went down straight from school. so I wasted my time there. tomorrow I shall make sure I bring everything that's needed!

I need to do something. I really don't feel to good about certain matters.

one week has passed.

it is near the end of the exams. tomorrow morning (which is a few hours more) will be the last exam for me, and it will be statistics. numbers, numbers, and more numbers. I'm kinda careless when handling mass calculations. tomorrow I have to pay more attention. don't want these careless mistakes to pull my grades down. and then there's LP. which somehow I can't manage to grasp the logic for it. at least it's open book so I can check up. but seriously, if I don't understand it, it won't really help much. I have to wake up real early to get to school in time. not enough sleep..

exams are officially here!

starting from tomorrow till next wednesday. 8 days, 4 papers. I am so not fully prepared. but anyways, it will be over soon. focus!!! I must focus!! especially after OB on wednesday, I have to complete statistics and econs from scratch because I haven't started studying at all. hopefully I can complete studying them as well as have enough time left to try out the past year exam papers. tomorrow morning shall mark the beginning of the exam period. it's so different from the last exam period. I was much more positive then.. now I'm kinda surrounded by negativity.

knowing..

I watched knowing today. it really is a sci-fi show. the following line might include some spoilers (if you don't already know). if you like aliens and xfiles kind of stuff, you might like this show. it gets rather predictable after the first half. the first half was kind of exciting and was shrouded in a dark and ominous feel. but the story is still kind of interesting, though I will not advice anyone to watch it unless he/she is really a big sci-fi movie fan.

I also met cheng kun and edwin yeo at the aji-tei at PS while having dinner before going for the movie. we sat down first, then they came and took the table beside us by pure coincidence. suddenly I heard one voice saying "wah VS you yuan", and I turned, and there was cheng kun. a real case of VS you yuan.

in any way, tonight was nice. it is nice. but it's getting late already. I've been sleeping rather late lately. this isn't good. but I think this has to go on till my exams are over. I haven't really studied and it's just less than a week away. I guess I have to start putting in more effort during the weekends, starting with tomorrow (today).

and yes, I finally bought my guitar strings, and I'm going to restring them tomorrow. I bought medium light gauge. hopefully I'm more comfortable using them than the current light gauge that I had last used and felt so weird with because it felt and sounded too bright.

it's alive. wait, it's dead again.

my desktop apparently has a bad habit of faking death. first it died, then it came back to life, then it died, then it came back to life again. now it's alive again. working again has it's good and bad. I seriously don't know which I prefer.

somehow or rather

alot of bad things are happening to me. at a bad time too. somehow I still can't find the motivation to really dive into studying even though my exam is just 1 week away. exactly 1 week. add to that problem is that my laptop is experiencing some faults as well. the fingerprint reader/scanner just suddenly become non-functioning. I had logged in with it, and left it there, not touching anything. after awhile the screen just went into this colorful mess of lines, so I had to do a reboot. after that, the reader/scanner failed to come alive anymore. I guess I will have to make a trip down to the service center at The Adelphi sometime soon. was considering tomorrow, but then again maybe after my exams.

I'm also concerned by the fact that it might have been a virus since it happened all of a sudden without any form of provocation. it's not like I had dropped the laptop or what. I haven't dropped it even once. so yeah. it would suck if all my passwords and stuff were leaked out to some unknown person who had planted whatever it is in my laptop.

the main concern is still my studies. I wonder how it will turn out. I really hope I can do well. I mean.. who doesn't right? lots of sighing from me. tomorrow is my japanese oral test. travel 4 hours for 5 minutes in school.. absolutely wonderful.

bad things have been attracted to me, somehow, for the past few days.. begone now, bad things. please?

a flower

time is fading for me. I may not be around for much longer.. it all depends. let's see..

it died. my desktop.

after serving me well for the past 2 years, my desktop finally gave in at the age of 7. it's life began at ramen's house from I don't know which year, but it changed hands when ramen got a new computer. I took the old computer from him, added some ram which I bought, and a graphics card on loan from sunlun, and it was all back into shape. able to dota, able to cs, able to d2, able to run low requirement mmorpgs. I still remember how it came with a faulty power supply unit at first (the fan wasn't working), and luckily I discovered it as it felt really hot. then kenji gave me his old computer's power supply unit, and the computer was good once again

it was my companion at home throughout my army days, and even after. so many memories are stored inside it. I've got to get casings for the 2 hard disks inside. all my precious files. but that can wait till after my exams.

R.I.P dear old desktop. 2007 - 2009 under my care.

it's so late now. I haven't slept so late in ages. the last time was last year. it's wrong. I shouldn't be doing this. but somehow I'm not tired. despite having gone out and walked a great deal in the afternoon. tomorrow shall be a 'stay home sunday' where I will focus on school work. in any case, with my desktop no longer around, I will be less distracted as there will not be any games to play. my laptop has no games at all. so I guess it's a blessing in disguise, since the exams are just one week away.

I just hope I can concentrate and study, something which I haven't been able to do this entire semester. the source of motivation is no longer there. it hasn't been there this entire semester. I hope.. I just hope I can find something to motivate me once again.

but I feel it might just be too late now.
and literally, it is late now. I need to go and sleep.
hopefully tomorrow will pass slowly.. give me more time to do my work.

dresses

I think dresses look really nice on girls. I just feel that it is really feminine and girly, and it's what a girl should wear. it totally suits them so well that sometimes I wonder why they would want to wear anything other than just dresses.

that is just so random.

I almost lost my laptop today.

I left it in the computer lab in school, under the table(luckily) so it was quite inconspicuous. I think anyone hardly noticed a laptop there. anyway it was already quite late. about 9.45pm. so roy gave me a lift to queenstown, and as I was going up the escalator, not yet entered the gates yet, I realised that my hands were empty. I thought I left it in roy's car, so I called him, and he checked and couldn't find it. so immediately I rushed and took a cab back. the only other place in my mind where it could be was in the computer lab. Upon reaching the school I straight away headed there and found it under the table. and I found my thumbdrive still plugged into one of the terminals there. that was really absent minded of me. I haven't been so absent minded in ages. in fact, I haven't left anything or forgotten to take anything outside in a very long time. maybe it's because I'm growing older. maybe it's because I was very tired today. but still, that's no excuse. it will not and must not happen again.

I don't believe

only appreciation.

hermit

guess it's time for me to discard the remnants of the already tiny amount of free time I currently have. not good. but there isn't any way out of this. I'm stuck. and next time, I'll find out for myself.