not a good feeling now.

A friend is back after two weeks of absence, feels good.
I'm getting more and more tired as the days pass. Why?
Another problem seems to be surfacing. And oh yes, the cohesion.
I'm gonna suffer...

i am really tired

I'm brooding over something, but I'm slowly letting it go.
It's such a waste, sometimes I regret.
I don't know why,
Maybe times have changed.

haha. today wasn't bad too!

in fact, today was better than yesterday. I got a ride TO and FROM work. cheers me up. but I still have the cohesion to settle, matter of fact. it is totally abstruse in its structure, and freedom to organize. and I feel its time someone venerated me.

mood?

was a pleasant surprise

Ok, so today wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I did get a ride home after all.

a willowy figure

I'm a pale figure of what I should be.
I should have been so much more.
All limited.
Now what do I do?

As I think, I thought.
a jejune impression,
a sincere expression.
with my own abilities I fought.

Now I draw on the strength and courage,
a might greater than a thousand man.
anything to deter a mighty sacrilege.

the aftermath

So I'm back from the cage, it was fun, but excruciatingly tiring. And as usual, I injured my toe and finger AGAIN. I saw a Honda 2800SX which I thought to be an NSX from afar, but upon closer inspection it wasn't as nice as the NSX(NSX-R my fav ;)).

Went back with Rainer's mum and dad and Ryan. Stopped by Bedok block 511 hawker center for some supper, then they sent me back, and here I am. Sleepy as can be. Good night.

cage

whoa with sudden decision with haste, I'm going to the CAGE! THE GATHERING HAS BEGUN! although my girlfriend I suspect is slightly angry with me over something else.

a languid project

A project lies in the back of my mind.
Troubling, discerning.
Three days I have to complete,
Split between two still learning.

The cohesion still lays there,
arbitrary, contrary, my decisions are.
Improvement, will it show?
Like the chilly, chilly.. snow.

oeti is really the place.

it really lives up to its alternate nickname, without any further rejoinders needed. and tomorrow I'll be watching fantastic four: rise of silver surfer! was supposed to watch ocean's 13, but the showtimes were just not suitable. finally! but it's time to rest now you know. it's really late! good night.

a day we caught up.

Today I met Kenji after work ended. We went to have dinner at Marine Parade hawker center where we then proceeded to Parkway as I had wanted to find a present for my girl's 21st birthday. Couldn't find anything there that was worth her while. Then we went back to Kenji's dad's place to return the car keys, and he showed me the roof of the building. It was awesome. You could see one-third of Singapore from the top of it. All the lights, the sounds, and the occasional lamborghini zooming past the roads. There we discussed on how we could make money, and many other things. It was really an enjoyable time. Too bad we both have to serve NS now.

progress

first I've got to say I'm not making any progress for the depot cohesion thingy, and my superior would most probably want my head by now. Ah, how sad.

The new course is fine,
It had just begun.
Maybe it's here I will shine,
Even brighter than the sun.

But discipline is so much higher than at Kranji, despite the un-need to do work. It's rather frustrating wearing long 4 all day long. IT'S HOT. It makes me perspire. Somehow I don't have a good feeling about the rest of my days. It's this incipient feeling of a storm brewing at work.

Tomorrow shall be early. A long day.

wow what a weekend.

saturday was expected. the usual routine of duty.
sunday was much more, but anyway I'm too tired to talk as off now.

a sweet friday.

Swiiit. Another weekend is burnt. And once again a precious Saturday.

Why is it always me? And now I've been assigned to be the organizer for the Depot Cohesion cum OC CoC(Change-of-Command) farewell party(of some sort). I'm supposed to lead a task force to complete this rather high profile assignment.

Of all people me. Its not like I'm not already up to my neck with the ground work. Especially this recent vehicles with all sorts of problems. Makes me wonder why they don't put in under BER(Beyond Economic Repair) - which basically means its going to be scrapped or its parts 'prostituted' to other vehicles.

The past week I ended work uber late at around 6.30pm. Which made me reach home at 8+pm. Unreasonably late, but what to do? After all I'm still leashed to the SAF by a flexible cord.

I'm beginning to feel sick.

i compare you to a kiss from a rose.

to me you're like a growing addiction I can't deny.

I'm trying to push it up one notch, be a little more enthusiastic. I don't know how much longer I can keep it up, but I will try.. Its only for good..

the first day, a faint resurge

A tiring day was today,
Sweat and dirt, I didn't seem to mind.
Weird.
I completed what I needed.
With the help of one.

Situation seems better.
As I ponder being quiescent.
For the better I shan't?

collide

Another problem presents itself rather clearly. there's a similarity, a posing leitmotif that I have yet to identify, so I can avoid this altogether. Seriously.. It's taking its toll on me.

a day wrong.

The day started out quite well, but it went seriously wrong after 6. And even worse after 12.

Just like the pale vision of the past,
I succumbed to the immense.
Holding at the back, yet letting at the front.
Slips past me, a mistake made yet again.
The consequences shall be forgotten.
I hope.

About Friday.

Friday I finished my guard duty, then I went for guard rest, which was like sleeping while hearing 1000 women give birth. The stupid lumpen ORD personnels where so noisy. Not to mention the entire Thursday I had this SUPER thrashing headache that went on and on, and only sometimes was I able to palliate it for a short while.

Then so after the so called 'guard rest', I went for lunch at the CSS Lounge. It was catered food, a 'feast' in the CO's words. I thought otherwise. The food wasn't nice at all. So after lunch Jiayu sent me to the bus stop outside Upper Seletar Camp where I took 39 home. I had to wait outside my door for near 40mins because I didn't have the house key.

When my bro came back and opened the door for me, I went in, tried a little of the Baileys Irish Cream with a hint of Mint Chocolate that Mr. Wong bought for me from Vietnam. It was fantastic, but the alcohol aftertaste and smell kinda spoiled the taste of the rich cream in my opinion.

It is definitely tiring, and I finally met Yz and Alex. Haven't met them for quite awhile.


I haven't been to 915 for quite a long time also. Those were the days..

AND..

I JUST HIT MY TOE SUCH THAT THE NAIL TORE OUT FROM THE SKIN AND IT HURTS LIKE HELL. IT'S ENOUGH PAIN TO DRIVE ME TO KILL SOMEONE.

she's back!

finally she's back!!

i'm worried.

Yes I'm worried about my girl. Where is she right now! I know she went on a holiday, but then she said she would off her phone when she replied from KL on Saturday afternoon. Till now she hasn't replied any of my msgs or calls. Doesn't she even on the phone to see if anyone is looking for her?

its late, i'm on MC

So I went to see a doc for my finger, and unexpectedly got and MC. He told me it was just a bruise.. but I DON'T THINK SO! Spare me my ignorance for trying to dispute the doctors words, which perfunctorily are right. I just feel much worse than he described it.. My girl is missing. ;(

once again everything has to end

4 long days have passed. Many things happened. And now I'm left with an injured(possibly broken?) third finger tip from yesterday's Cage. Yes it hurts like hell. Sunday, today, I spent totally doing nothing productive, but hey, who's complaining?

Tomorrow is work again, and I have a lot of things to rant about every time it hit Sunday nights. I must stress once again I'm not a very biddable person, so when it comes to things I'm forced to do I downright hate it. Hardcore. Things like booking into camp every Monday morning. The thought of it totally discomfits me. It turns me off. And I start to spiral down this U-shaped tube of misery.

I'm miserable because I have to sleep early, wake up early, do some stupid repairing/maintenance stuff on vehicles, all this unwillingly. Yes I can accept it, and I can enjoy it, but bottom line is I'm unwilling. and that breeds misery. Someone once said, 'Misery is never destroyed, only transferred'. It seems my misery is stuck with me without any transferring taking place.

And yes I've been spending in copious amounts of money on many stuff that brings intangible returns. The returns are terrific, but it's too high a cost to substantiate. I guess I have to cut down then. My 'allowance'(actually its my salary) is only $350. So much for care there. For a living breathing person in today's world, where the GST is increasing, milk prices are increasing, blood pressures are increasing, where does $350 stand? Shorter than a 15cm ruler.

Complains complains complains it's already 12:17am and I still can't bring myself to sleep. The moment I enter dreamland is the END of freedom for the week. I fear sleep on Sundays. I have got to go somehow..

yest was the cage!

So the highly anticipated day came, where once again we gathered at the Kallang Cage for a dose of lethal, brutal, fast-paced soccer action. Man was it tiring. But the day started for me before the Cage.

I met Sam, Zy and Ramen at Suntect to see the PC show, which we practically walked from 1 exit to the other. It was so crowded. Then we met Eugene, Rainer and Ryan at monstercue for some pool. It had been a long time since I last stepped into monster cue..

After monstercue we wanted to eat at Aston's but the queue was too long and we had a schedule to meet since our booking was at 8, so we ended up eating at Kallang Mac, where Zong Wei came to join us. Then after eating we went to the Cage.

the day changed as fast as the weather

It started of sunny, bright, fair.
All seemed well.
A storm approached with incomprehensible celerity.
It was still pleasant. Till late.
That's where the storm took its internecine turn.
Moods fouled, question lay around unanswered.
Intransigent it remained.
Even as my nonpareil patience wore thin.
Finally I decided to take action.
I made it a win win situation,
Where of course despite the insuperable fact that it wasn't my fault,
I apologised in hope of reversing the disconsolate.
I hope it worked.

When will I get them!

So many things I want.. when can I get them? I'm not materialistic but there are just some things in life you really hunger for immensly. I'm so starved right now!