rushed

lately I've been up to so many things. so many appointments. I guess with the school term knocking at my door it gives a sense of 'running out of time'. I've sent in my application to deutsche bank last night for an internship with them. hope they will consider. anyway, yesterday I met up with a group of friends I haven't seen in a long time. especially one guy. I haven't seen him since after my poly ended. it's been like 3 years. he's still the same. I find it so cool. he's the kind of person who will be well liked everywhere.

then recently I've noticed I'm a MMAI person. MMAI is the short for Me, Myself and I. I'm MMAI in the sense that I don't talk about serious stuff regarding myself much. I'm pretty self contained. like I'm behind this protective wall that I'd built up over the years. I don't know if that's good or not. but I know something for sure - it makes me feel distant.

the weather has been good recently, neither too hot nor raining. I've had so many dreams every night as usual. I don't sleep well. some dreams were good, some were not so good. last night I had a dream that started out quite nicely, then towards the end it change. it wasn't so nice anymore. I must say I really enjoyed the starting part. it brought back so much good memories. but these memories are linked with a heavy sense of loss as well. I guess only I will know what I'm talking about. how many years down the road will I forget all this.

I have to let go

I have to do things differently from now on. I hope I can succeed.

running all the time.

I'm wary. generally I don't trust the society at large.

thinking of applying for internship at deutsche bank. wonder how it'll turn out.