I haven't been around, have I?

Along came a distraction, that derailed my objectivity.
I'm still struggling to keep it away from me,
Because if I fail, it would be such a pity.
I need to regain my focus, and get back in the mood.
Before I proceed this way, not doing what I should.
The fault lies with no one, but my own flickering mind.
I hope it won't hurt me badly, so I won't have to pick myself up.

memories of nobody

Everyday I'm haunted by memories of nobody.
A past, reminded by sight.
A change, more than expected.
So different, so unappealing.
Yet,
There's a magic,
An insensate magic.
After all, its a memory.
The memory of Nobody

Why am I bound?
The end is near, I can see it.
I've always had an eye,
For the end.
Time withers.

as I tread on

heavy steps echo.
pervading the silence of the sanctity.
I arrive at the door,
pulling it back with my battle scarred hands.
trembling with fear as to whats behind it.
a scream sliced my footsteps,
as I tensed my every muscle
and leapt into the black of the doorway.

Today

I'm not mourning the loss. I'm mourning the imperfection.

the follower

those who have eyes follow. the blind make their own path. every once in a while we follow. its the easier way out. but times come when we are blinded, and only the brave will dare to walk out headstrong. are you one of them?

next week will be very very busy. this weekend will be very busy. but after 9months of waiting its finally here. Alex's commissioning. Though I'm not the one getting the rank, it feels just like it was me. 9months had passed so quickly. I can still remember when he was in BMT.

the thoughts

the feeling of hot and cold water trickling down on you together is a wonderful feeling. it makes me go fuzzy all over. it makes me so relaxed. a little shiver, yet cosy. I've been thinking about something for a long time. our lives are made up of a blocks called individual definitions. sure there are normal definitions, straightforwards ones that tell you the meaning of something. but when it comes to these aspects I may mention. there is no clear distinction, however many may try to argue on bases generally accepted. I believe it is worth foraying into these subjects. at least they're much more interesting. hopefully I can find time to write a thesis on this, and I hope, it will not be disappointing, ultimately to me.