the week is over

the whole past four days I have been talking about the end of the week. tomorrow is the end. or at least I hope. after the bowl, there just might be a possibility we have to go back to work for two hours at most? well I hope it doesn't happen. and also I've been coerced to partake in tomorrow's cage match at east coast park. I've nothing against it, I just have something against perspiring. I really dislike perspiring. today's work was quite a blessing and also a disaster. I finally managed to pass out the problematic-brake vehicle, and now I'm stuck with another problematic vehicle which is much worse than the previous one. somewhere in the back of my head I want to complete it, not sure why. can't wait for the weekends to come. on 5th february is my next duty. a tuesday. doesn't sound too bad. hope it will be okay.

realised talking can be fun and make life interesting. I've been talking to less in my life. but still I prefer to listen, though I might not show it. I love absorbing all the information from all the people I meet or listen to. its downright exciting. till the matutinal rays awaken me.

complaints this week is immaterial

one more day, before the early weekend hits. I have no plans for the weekends though. but just as last week I hope it would be the pure peaceful weekend that I just nice require. work was terrible today. the area cleaning was once again extended. wonder why does a workshop have to be so clean. are we supposed to eat of the drains?

the whole day I was working on a singular vehicle, after going for 5 sessions of testing, it still failed the test. tomorrow I shall continue working on it. I want to pass it out. it's a hindrance and a burden on my shoulders I bear each day without it going out. was really tired today as I kept driving the vehicle around to the test center and around the workshop to try the brakes prior to the test.

I'm so tired. let tomorrow pass quickly!

come on now, pass quickly.

tuesday is over. hooray. even though we ended late today due to extended quotidian area cleaning. the next two days will have longer working hours, but who's complaining, when its the weekends after that again. I'll feel tired, that's for sure, but it's the path to my freedom. the only event that worries me would be the section proficiency test in mid march. that would of course be the most challenging portion of me and my peers' technician lives. I'll try sleeping early today. gotta wake up early tomorrow for the run + january babies' birthday celebration.

this week seems short, but will be busy

first, saturday night as quite an experience, like never before. but well, I met some new people. didn't go home straight. instead went to alex's place to stay for the night. the next morning went to have breakfast with him and his family at a small neighborhood center in sengkang, before cabbing home. was so tired, but couldn't sleep at all. then met with kenji and kristalle for ice cream, and then went down to expo for the john little sale. on the way there saw roslan coming back from a delivery of KFC, parking his bike beside the road. at expo, we walked around a bit before meeting up with kenji's dad. the queue was unreasonably long, so after queuing for ten minutes, we decided not to get anything. it just wasn't worth the wait for the money saved.

now as to why this week is short but busy.

short:
today was the CO parade, and the whole day we didn't do any work. the morning was spent sitting around the office finishing our USMS. tomorrow morning there will be a fire drill cum performance cum safety talk till lunch, so work will be only for the second half of the day. friday will be our CNY08 celebration cum family day at ECP bowling, so the remaining working days this week is tuesday afternoon, wednesday and thursday.

busy:
on the way out of camp today, a visibly annoyed SSG chua, upon my asking, told me there was a lot of vehicles booking in at the last minute today. so I guess tomorrow will be a busy day. and so will be the days ahead. referring to above we only have two and a half days of work this week. so many vehicles, so little time.

another issue now. I'm still looking for someone to spend this year's valentine's day with after I send my dear friend off at the airport. It's hard to find someone neutral who's willing to go on a date-like night out. hmm.

weekends are calming

even though there's nothing much to do during the weekends, and I'm bored most of the time, its a warm feeling down there when I know that it is the time for me to take a well deserved break from the hustle and bustle of the chaotic weekday. as january draws to a close soon, this is the final weekend of the month. looking back, I can only look back at a whole set of drastic changes my life has gone through. it feels that how my life had changed this month is greater than how it had changed over the past 4 years. discarding some things I once held dearly to, learning, and experiencing work like never before, the responsibilities, the anticipation.

tonight I've agreed to go to Zouk with a friend to chill. it has been quite a long while since I've been there. a weekend in october to be exact, which was around 3 months back. honestly, I don't feel like going there today, but I keep my word, and so I can only hope to make the best out of it.

yesterday, I realised I wasn't good at following other peoples' methods. instead, I discovered that I was much better using methods I came up with for myself. the toyota starlet is a beautiful car. the first car my dad ever owned, and also the first car I ever sat in, so it means a lot to me. it might very well mean the first car I will get is a starlet, though very old. looking at it is enough to calm me down. just as right on a saturday.

more things to come tonight. wonder what time I'll get home, and how.

OVERTIME

the overtime has struck. tomorrow I'll be staying in, and weds I'll be on duty so I won't be home for 2 nights. hope everything goes right. tired like crazy.

can't stand it

pressure is really building up. I've got so many things I wanna do but I can't. I hate this kind of feeling. its absolutely terrible. the past week has been a busy one. next week will too. might even have to work OT to clear some vehicles. frustrating. really frustrating. I've got a new goal, and purpose. I've decided something clearly for my future. remember me.

expected outcome

as I mentioned yesterday, today was busy. and I got really frustrated while doing something - fixing the engine hour meter into the mounting. first things first, my partner didn't do it properly, so I had to try to put it in place. when that failed, it resulted in the only option being to dismantle the entire mounting in order to fit the rubber guard in before assembling the mounting back on. well, easier said than done. the bonnet couldn't be opened completely due to the spare tire resting on it, and the space constraints I had to suffer. I bumped by head several times on the low raised bonnet, dropped my wrench down the engine compartment several times(due to the unservicable extension), and my glasses fell down the engine compartment a few times as well. to top that up, the small wooden step I was standing on to gain height tipped over a few times, leaving me dangling with just my tummy on the side of the bonnet and both my top and bottom suspended. but somehow I managed to open the mounting, after getting really irritated. the rest of the day I guess I was just convalescing from that episode, and therefore things moved really slow. I also went to eat at my current favorite ice-cream stall. they absolutely serve the best nutella ice-cream, especially when mixed with marshmallows and waffle crisps.

.....

today was an insanely, incredulously, unnervingly tiring day. probably caused by the sleeping disturbances throughout yesterday night. I was on the verge of taking half-day off to go back and rest whatever I was lacking. but somehow due to circumstances I managed to pull through the day, practically dragging myself. but somehow I didn't do half bad. just the occasional forgetfulness. tomorrow is the start of an intense week of standby. I don't intend to bring my field pack to camp, hoping for the best that they won't activate us as well. and I hope I made the smarter decision by leaving it at home. had dinner with Max, Felix, and Jeremy at lot one's LJS. was pretty the standard fare, didn't really change much from the last time I ate it which was ages ago. tomorrow is an even longer day due to the non presence of the morning live run. so work work it shall be for tomorrow. still got maybe 10 - 12 vehicles to clear PM & CM. I'm not really looking forward to it, but this thursday will be by guard duty once again. the only good thing to come out of it is that the next day is friday so work tends to be more slack, but then area cleaning becomes paramount.


we move with speed,
in light we lead,
our only enemy is time,
the rest are immaterial.
sometimes it's fast,
sometimes it crawls.
always to oppose our wishes.

a weekend gone

just like that, though I did spend time with those who are important. maybe that's why it has passed so quickly. i wish weekends were weekdays and weekdays were weekends.

internet problem once again

the name fully and clearly states it.

an apparition

dreams of grandeur, dreams of riches,
moments of imagination readily beseech us.
the pertinacious wants of man,
masking the importance of our land.
offered a way, I would gladly take it,
after all, it's only a gambit.
but for now I remain without statute,
never following any word of fiat.
falling deeper into the web of deception,
further away from the chance of correction.

it's already tuesday night

tomorrow will be another busy wednesday. I'm very tempted to do another wall of words, but I think I will cut it short this time. so far the week has been taking its toll on me, making me exhausted, without time to convalesce. with the recent additions of the OJE, I have the added agenda of coaching them properly, as there aren't any more contractors, so they can only learn from us(the nsfs) and the regulars. still taking into account the massive heap of vehicles with burst TAT(Turn-around-time). It's all posing a big headache for my MTT, and me as well. Thursday will be my duty, which means only partner Hasan will be handling all 4 of the OJEs attached to section section. overall today was good, with one major spillage, and a little overdone area cleaning which made us miss the bus. Faizal was there to save the day with his replacement car. I hope tomorrow will be fine too, and that I won't wake up late; not that I always do.

a leaving

leaving, leaving, how I wish i could too.
a hallowed time awaits in solitude.
like time in a prison, awaiting execution,
but escaping at the last moments,
finale.

languid exposure

the extant and infinite source of work,
never lets a challenge slip away.
providing me with ever changing problems,
extirpating my energy from deep within.
I feel so drained...

i hope time will pass

with not many people I can turn to to pour out my feelings, I often use this as an outlet such that when I look back from the future, I can relive my experiences, and learn from them. tomorrow is a monday, and for me it will mean the start of another intense work week. I don't really see it as a bad thing. at least it gives me something to do. I know this post might turn out to be a 'great wall of text', but this is worth it. I've often complained about monday blues, but it turns out now the weekends are bluer with all the nothingness completing the hours. right now I'm supposed to sleep, but all I can do is think about the week ahead. although it will be busy, I hope everything will go well; time will pass quickly when I'm working; everyone will cooperate during area cleaning to avoid the nasty scenario that occurred last friday. I will be on duty on thursday, and all I can hope for is that everything will go well for it too. so many thoughts flooding through my mind. and I'm glad my headache is fading, and I'm now more lost and confused and in a stately weird kind of calm. no longer in the trepidation and anticipation that something bad might happen at work. I still worry, but I'm no longer putting stress on myself. it might be good it might be bad. I hope it all works out.

a splitting headache, a tunnel underground

I've decided to go under.
a facade I've decided to discard.
as I'v told, sotto voce.
a new path I must take,
a new experience I will get.
there are only a few left.
if this is what life is to me,
then I shall face it headstrong.

blind faith doesn't pay

help, I need help.

a lesson

some people who you call friends, behave like your friends, actually don't see you the same. they lie and act.

word of the day - area cleaning

all hell broke lose during area cleaning.
it is this sort of thing that leads to misanthropy.
all thanks to an obdurate person that had to mar our friday.

a new year

not a good year as yet, the past 3 days hasn't been kind on me. work has multiplied with the absence of all the contractors. not sure when they will be back. a few aims for myself this year

1. Get my driving license

I've been delaying too long. way too long.

2. Reshuffle my wardrobe

and I mean major reshuffling in place to come.

3. Be myself more

I am who I am. if you don't like me, then don't like me. it doesn't matter.

4. Spend more quality time with my family

closest thing to me, needless to say.

5. Cherish my friends more

if life is a slice of bread, friends are the sweetest jams spread over it.

more goals to come. but this are my main ones.
I hope.. "More good years ahead"

the new year

has arrived. nothing happy about it yet. in fact it has been downright depressing. all the contractors in my workplace are gone. meaning we nsfs are to do everything. how proper, especially when each section is reduced to 2 or 3 man max due to the others going on course.