dangerous obsession

so tired. supposed to go to the IT show today, but a friend couldn't make it. want to go and look at some laptops. swapped notes with my friends today in Australia. same subject, same topic, but presentation wise very different. I couldn't really get used to his kind of questions. maybe I'm not adaptable. their way of presentation to me is more messy, but if it works, who am I to complain?
guess I'll do the reading for tomorrow on the journey there if I don't feel lazy

a taste.

I had a taste of what reality in this place is. it looked kinda tough. of course many things are bearing down as usual. the infamous 'same shit different day' statement by lua. can never forget his 'who wears the pants?' statement as well. as I set my alarm to ring at 0700, I know I will dilly-dally on my bed in the morning, resulting in a mad rush for time to make it out of my house and to school on time. tomorrow's lecturer is particularly particular about these stuff. Is a resolution still a resolution if one doesn't have motivation to complete that resolution? then what is it called? a weakness of will scenario? I shall bid consciousness good bye, and sink into subsconsciousness.

and the week begins again

last week I was kinda cut out of the picture. tomorrow the cycle begins again. it's only just begun, the journey. and already I'm looking out. another friend has left for the states. never know when I'll see him again. so fast its already coming to september, so fast nine months had passed. so soon alex will commission. the thrill of it. he had worked hard to deserve it. an opportune moment to celebrate. been waiting for the barbeque to happen but it seems no one just has the time to organize it. probably wait till alex and rainer commission then decide. something ends, something else begins. my friend comes home from new zealand today, maybe tomorrow. I wish right now I was somewhere else besides here. forever trapped in an illusion seems kind of good. where your fantasies can be played out, where you have no worries. every day lingers for me. I cannot relish the life that others seem to do. the effort that is done injustice.

waking up earlier

as the week progresses. gone are the days when I could lazy around in bed till 11 or 12. I wish it could return. traveling is tiring as usual. at the end of the day in school, sometimes I feel like I should have applied to stay in the hall. but when I get home eventually, that notion evaporates. if only I had another house at boon lay or somewhere nearer. if only my dad's place was there instead. how wonderful it would have been. the canteen is horribly packed with people during lunchtime, making waiting time over-the-top and totally unreasonable. must find a way around this attesting problem. am I addicted to reading? tomorrow's the first IT lecture. wonder what it'll be about. by right on wednesdays I should be staying over at yq's place, but since he's overseas now.. yup. I have to wake up at 7 on thursdays. waking up early is indeed miserable. I was already struggling at 9 on tuesday, 8 this morning, and definitely will struggle at the monumental 7 tomorrow morning. Some sort of award for people who wake up early.

i can't think of any suitable

quickly it is thursday night already. how quick. how just. with predisposed mindset of negativity that carries on despite. anyway, yesterday and today didn't have any lessons, so I was at home lazing around. tomorrow is the arduous task of riding a train for 1hour 15mins. its not the journey, its the mode of transport that sucks big time. imagine this, my back hurts from like 4 to 5 stations into the journey. and I have to tolerate that for the remaining.. 20 stops or so.

the only reprieve is I'm meeting some friends for dinner tomorrow, and hopefully can check out the library.

the time many enjoy

its a friday. usually its a good day where people look forward to chilling out late and all other night related activities that would usually affect their work the nxt day should it be any other weekday, and assuming they work an office hour job 5 days a week. but for me, this particular friday will not be such a day. today(refering to friday when in fact at this time it's already saturday -.-) is my last free friday. 4 fridays ago, I was having a reunion buffet with my army friends. how time flies. that was the first free friday, and today is the last. after this school begins, and I might be working on fridays after that. but either way, having anything on that day doesn't constitute it as a free friday in my books. if only I could circumvent all these extant social rules and accreditations. and just do what I want to do. but alas, albeit all the free will we have, we are unable to do so. governed by the very society we feel we can change. but can we?