thinking

so much to think about. I'm ensorcelled. one and a half more days. tomorrow my dear friend will be out.

I rode a bike. first time.

in camp, without official permission of course, albeit that of the contractor in charge of the bike. and of course the soi-disant boss causes trouble to people yet again. another day I end work late.

I managed to finish the K-Drama - Yu hee the witch(Witch Amusement/Witch YuHee). It was nice; about the see-sawing love story between an honest, down to earth guy who truly loved her, a girl(Yu Hee) who just wants to feel loved, and her senior, a doctor who feigns loving her in order to get a hospital through their marriage to exact revenge on his enemies. maybe my description doesn't do the drama much justice. but do watch it if you can, and make your own judgements.

sunday night blues..

oh when will this ever end.. another year of misery. time, please hurry up. the weight on my shoulders is ever increasing.

planning never gets you there.

it just compounds your misery when all you've planned doesn't happen.
for 2 years I've been waiting. and I shall have to wait longer.

the undertaking

today I was given a task. it isn't easy at all. in fact, its somewhat giving me a headache. to fulfill it I need a lot of time and effort, which I'm afraid is going to be difficult due to me still being in NS. while my friend is not intransigent, I feel the importance and significance of the tasks, as many other along the future would depend on it. I need ideas, creativity.

tomorrow shall be my guard duty. sudden, but not that bad. I can only hope I won't be so shagged out as I plan to do brainstorming during whatever rest time I can find that I'm not slipping away into darkness. a lot of things hit me today. I guess I'm kind of a 'looking back' person.

fading into the other way

I have a mission. I must accomplish it. success is the only possible result. Tolerate nothing else. my dream.

the exiguous attention

the quotidian tasks of work,
bear not any interest or thrill.
not provoking my senses,
making my behavior maladroit at will.

it seems I've lost the touch,
I once had many years ago.
impervious to any blade or arrow
I've have since became so mellow.

will any one remember?

and we met a bitch

a bitch who kinda spoiled zouk.
the power of the word "so"
she couldn't say more.

and it goes

She'll make your heart break
She'll give you fever
She'll tell you everything but don't believe her
A perfect stranger
She knows the game
She'll promise heaven on earth
But don't believe her

She'll make you crazy
She's such a teaser
Says you're the only one but don't believe her
She deals in danger
The girl's insane
She'll promise heaven on earth
But don't believe her

Scorpions(Don'tBelieveHer)

it was

it was rather good, I felt. but I've almost given up. it's hard, feeling this way once again. flipping the papers today it was hot. real hot. busy work, no time for rest. I'm drained.

"Oh Cry out.
I want to be free.
Dry out.
I want to know truth."

X(Drain)

the infinite chase

I'm forever behind, chasing a dream that's almost impossible to reach. many times I did consider slaking this desire, this distant alternate reality. it has already become an alternate reality. how much longer will I continue dedicating my life and penning for it, already knowing deep in my heart the failure that awaits me? it's sad, but unavoidable. I've never thought it was possible, I just held on to it.

the feeling is good

when your weekend doesn't end on sunday night. tomorrow I'm on leave. yet it doesn't appeal to be that much. a facetious illusion given to me in times of jest? I'm as of yet still faced with racing problems. I do wonder if I think and ponder about matters too much all the time. well that probably explains the site name. I wish I could just throw away this facade and be a more carefree person whose innocence just glistens.

the days fly past. literally

so many days have past that I haven't been here. it's my fault. I'd left this place in its own asylum. a sanctuary of its own. like my paroxysm of pain and suffering. the problem paramounts and persists at its peak.