a crazy little thing called love

yes, indeed it is crazy. looking back at all the dumb silly deeds I did, I feel stupid. just recently I spoke to my friend's friend regarding her relationship problem with this guy. it would not be nice if I were to divulge any information about it here. but the main problem was with him asking me to give her advice. in my mind I was like, "come on. I'm see over this love thingy." but yet, I had to give advice. so of course I told her to do the opposite of what I would do, since I no longer had any interests in the affairs of the heart.

love is an emotion. emotions are controllable. if you don't control them, you are a victim of the people around you. control your emotion, and you will be the master of your life. for me well, I've crucified my love.

a short weekend. really.

today was stay home day, not that I wanted to. it's just that plans changed abruptly, so nothing can be done, especially since tomorrow I have duty. AGAIN. my last sickening duty. as I sit here I feel the day has been wasted so much. I woke up at 0915Hrs and rotted in front of my computer hitting the games and watching movies. I had wanted to go out so much, after yesterday nights sudden and undeserving overtime. like its our stupid fault the new OUV is made of lousy alloy. but still the responsibility was ours. of course we get the worst tasks in the thick of these kind of shit. and its not OK just because it was friday. I hope my superiors can actually feel it.

I dread tomorrow's duty, just like I dread every duty. I dread tuesday because there's a parade for a dumb, resource wasting, impractical, purposeless certain day, which I shall refrain from mentioning here lest I get into some sort of self inflicted trouble, which of course has no roots. worst of all, I dread the delay that the headquarters is giving me regarding my disruption. inefficiencies where there are not suppose to be any make my skin crawl.

you could say that

I kind of completed my given tasks. it was monumental, gargantuan, but still as a team, me and my friends managed to finish it. anyway they day went well getting offs and stuff from my PC. it was his last day, so it was a sad scene you could imagine. farewells and all. but in my mind, I was thinking, "there goes the most intelligent person in the office." of course I was excluded from the thought process of above comment. kidding. among the officers and seniors, he was undeniably the most intelligent one of all. it seemed I was shortchanged by him on the off factor, but he had helped me countless of times such that I can accept it without feeling much.

here is a little something for him:

Another day comes and goes,
without much difference,
with the usual woes.

People remembered, felt and clapped
when you helped all,
we always felt kept.

Something special the time had given,
you were not all,
but you were there, for all seasons.

And so a farewell has its beginnings,
good luck and thanks, for all your givings.



with reference to my previous post: unfortunately, yes I am doing duty on sunday.

passed

pretty fast, today had. but tomorrow will be a tough one. away from the mundane workshop I will be. but just above it you shall find me. I will be working on the condemned vehicle at the parking lots above. less noisy, less nosy people, and of course the added trouble of being unable to get any spares or extras within reach. and of course I'll be away from him, if he actually comes.

the worst part is that there are many things to be done on the condemned ones. I'll be gathering a team of 4 to assist me. hope I can finish on time. and I hope, I won't have to do duty on sunday

if I pretend that nothing ever went wrong

I can get to my sleep. its a slow painful process that inevitably brings the next day upon waking up. I'm wasting everyday. an institution has failed to reply my email. it's such a disappointment coming from such a well known institute. still does not deter me. stayed at home all day, practically doing nothing besides earning myself a pure headache somewhere in the late afternoon. tomorrow I'll be back at work, a chore I hope will end by the end of next week.

'no hope no love no glory, no happy ending'

will it be

just a long day tomorrow and two more weeks to go? I can't wait. please, let it be two more weeks. anticipation is killing me

alas, I writhe in pain

a massive roadblock hinges dangerously whereby my fate greatly depends on it. a year or none will there be extra for me? way past the given deadline, I'm pressing on, grabbing on to that sliver of hope. the delay only exacerbating the suspense and chills given to me as I await that grand answer, and await a life-giving reply.

I'm now at a crossroad too. should I do marketing or banking. I'm kind of interested in both.

screwed for nothing

today was kinda bad. I was scolded for nothing. but he's leaving soon. the sooner he goes the better.

I think

I've been thinking. skills over strategy. pure grinding will get you the skills and what you want, but strategy alone will not. of course, the ideal scenario here would be to get the best of both worlds. unfortunately for many, that is not the case. often we have to choose. a simple yet daunting task. a decision that will affect any equilibrium of our lives.

as I hatch a plan in my mind. time slows to almost a standstill. I sit on my chair, thinking, just thinking, while the hours crawl. the extant laws of time and physics don't seem to coexist anymore during this period.

how can I reach that goal? applying what I've mentioned above, the nonpareil satisfaction will ultimately draw my attention to it, giving me a shadenfreude of my shortcomings and failures.

there was nothing on my mind

besides awaiting ORD. work is becoming more a chore than it was before. as I await the day. my disruption is extremely delayed no thanks to the ever so 'efficient' organization I'm forced to serve in. Kenji's back, of course that is good. but he won't be for long. gone he will be by 22nd June.